The Daily Mail reports that 1 in 5 brides to be are disappointed by the proposal by their future husbands, be it as a result of a substandard ring, no ring at all or a lack of ‘romance’ in the proposal.
A huge 13% of those surveyed said the proposal had been so disappointing they had wanted to cry, and a number admitted that instead of a romantic and tender moment, the proposal had turned into an argument instead.
It would seem that the unusual proposals which have become internet hits have set the bar at a high standard, with many men being considered to have failed to make the grade if their efforts don’t match up. Examples of such spectacular proposals include an entire London tube carriage singing, and flashmobs at train stations performing. It seems that for any poor boy planning a romantic meal and quiet proposal may face criticism for lack of creativity.
The survey does however suggest that whilst new and innovative ways to propose have proved a big hit, and a measure to compare against, it’s still the traditional aspects which cause the annoyance if they are missed, with failing to go down on one knee and failing to ask a father’s permission being cited as some of the most common causes of disappointment.
The ring itself however seemed to feature most prominently in the survey, with 45% of women claiming they would contribute in order to get a better ring and 38% saying the ring reflects directly how much their partner loves them, thus
leading to a feeling of being slighted if any of those famous 4Cs haven’t quite made the correct grade (that’s cut, colour, clarity and carat boys, if there’s anything that the survey shows, it’s that all 4 need to be spot on…).
Of course in the event a relationship breakdown or Divorce, who then keeps the all-important diamond can be another cause of contention, although as a general rule, the law considers the ring a gift, unless it’s a family heirloom or something of a similar nature, so perhaps some men have good cause not to flash too much cash.
The survey also gives interesting insight into communication between couples on the issue, with many expressing regret that they didn’t raise their disappointment at the time, or admitting that they have told family and/or friends, but not their betrothed.
On a personal note, the article has been very informative too. I now realise that given my lovely husband did not go down on one knee, nor ask my Dad beforehand if it was OK, I am clearly entitled to an upgraded diamond so I am off to claim my 2 Carats…
Cara Nuttall is a Family Solicitor at Slater & Gordon Lawyers in Manchester.
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